I didn’t know whether Einstein was right about bending time until, as time as time passed I found that the passage of time was giving me a new shape. The new shape is mostly circular, offering little cooperation with belts that circle a man’s waist, a sort of vast waistland, to misspell Newton Minow’s memorable term when he chaired the federal Communications Commission in 1961. One day as my body reshaped itself I discovered that my trousers were sliding, according to the laws of gravity, because my belt was pulled so tightly that it risked splitting me like a watermelon. I remembered that Larry King owned 150 pairs of suspenders. I didn’t own any, but it didn’t take long to check them out via Amazon. Shoppers who are not familiar with suspenders, AKA braces, should find out about different styles and colors and widths, and especially about the clips. Oh, and you can read about why the fashionable do not wear belts and suspenders at the same time. Socially it is like putting catsup on a Chicago hot dog. As for the suspenders, I’m hooked